Legally Out

Good Reads

2009-01-13T22:21:00.002-05:00

School is back in full swing for semester number two, but I'm trying to keep some semblance of sanity with some good blog/news reading as of late. I thought I'd share some with you.

Al Sharpton has actually earned my respect.

I am considering a move to Maine. Well, possibly. I guess I'm really just considering the consideration of a move to Maine.

This is going to be the longest week ever.

Ask, Tell. Please!!

Hopefully, this will help put to rest all the misguided and counterproductive blaming for the passage of Proposition 8 that's been floating around for the past 9 weeks or so.

The interwebs are full of amazing photos.

Ann Coulter is a raving loon. Then again, this is nothing new.

ATTENTION ALL ASPIRING POLITICIANS: If you are an ally (and a friend), it will help you get re-elected.

And lastly, let me introduce you to two of the most hilariously brilliant women alive. One, you know very well:

I mean, did that really happen?

The other I have been slyly hiding from you, but I've decided to come clean about it and admit it. Hi, I'm Leesh, and I'm OBSESSED with Sarah Haskins.

"Sandwiches are for boys!" I don't think she can get any funnier! Oh, wait...

Happy 2009, y'all.

NJ's Civil Unions AREN'T WORKING

2008-12-14T11:20:00.003-05:00

I, like almost everyone I know, have been too submerged in preparing for finals lately to really post much, but this article was too good to be left unposted or unread. Straight from the fabulous Pam Spaulding's blog, this article highlights the REAL DIFFERENCES between civil unions and marriages. I've heard too many people in my life recently tell me to get over the semantics and "take what you can get" in the way of civil unions; but that's simply not good enough. Separate is NOT equal, and I will never settle for less than what I constitutionally deserve.

I'm only posting the first (and best) part of the blog post, but you should definitely go here and read the whole thing if you're interested.

NJ Commission: Civil Unions 'encourage unequal treatment of same-sex couples and their children'
by: craigkg
Wed Dec 10, 2008 at 02:52:20 AM EST

In a report due to be be released soon (10 AM here), a New Jersey commission charged with (among other things) "evaluat[ing] the implementation, operation and effectiveness of the [New Jersey Civil Union Act,] collect[ing] information about the act's effectiveness [... and] determin[ing] whether additional protections are needed" has unanimously found New Jersey Civil Unions to be deficient in providing the protections readily availed to those married in New Jersey:

This commission finds that the separate categorization established by the Civil Union Act invites and encourages unequal treatment of same-sex couples and their children.

The commission report has not yet been released, but the Associated Press obtained a copy of the report by the Civil Union Review Commission and released a wire story on it. The commission was created by the Civil Union Act when it was passed and signed into law in 2007. The Civil Union Act was passed in response to the October 2006 ruling by the New Jersey Supreme Court in Lewis v Harris that required the state to "either amend the marriage statutes or enact an appropriate statutory structure within 180 days" to grant the constitutional rights bestowed by marriage for same sex couples. Since its formation, it has held several hearings and taken public testimony on nine different occasions hearing from over 150 people. It released an initial report in February and the initial conclusions of that report showed the Commission was leaning towards marriage equality finding

1. For the overwhelming majority of civil union couples who testified, the federal Employment Retirement Income Security Act, commonly known by its acronym ERISA, is the reason employers have given for not recognizing their civil unions.
2. In Massachusetts, a marriage equality law has prompted many employers to provide equal benefits to same-sex wives or husbands.
3. The testimony presented by many civil union couples indicated that their employers continue to discriminate against them, despite their familiarity with the law.
4. Civil union status is not clear to the general public, which creates a second-class status.
5. The Civil Union Act has a deleterious effect on lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex youth and children being raised by same-sex couples.
6. Many witnesses testified about the unequal treatment and uncertainties they face during a health care crisis, particularly in hospital settings.
7. Institutional interaction with civil union couples has been less than optimal.
8. Testimony indicates that the Civil Union Act has a particularly disparate impact on people of color.
9. The requirement that same-sex couples declare civil union status, a separate category reserved for same-sex couples, exposes members of the United States military to the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.
10. The classification of civil union may place marital status in question when one of the partners is transgender.

While the commission is likely to add to these findings in its final report based on testimony taken and evidence gathered since the initial report, this list of initial conclusions is not likely to be diminished in any way. Its chorus of rationale for supporting the extension of marriage equality in the Garden State is only likely to grow longer. Indeed, as stated above according to the the AP report, the final report will state "This commission finds that the separate categorization established by the Civil Union Act invites and encourages unequal treatment of same-sex couples and their children."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

I posted this on my Facebook yesterday, and a friend of mine who has a civil union in NJ had this to say in response:

"Great note [Leesh]. I actually wrote a nice (short, damn studying) letter to my NJ Assembly Reps and Senator asking them to vote in favor of marriage equality when it is reconsidered.

For [my husband] and I, who have a civil union, we too have felt the difference that is based merely on the words 'civil union' instead of marriage. When I tried to gain coverage under [his] insurance, which is part of the reason we got the civil union when we did, they told us "It's not even worth it to submit your civil union certification. Our office will not even look at it. You need either a marriage license, or a letter certifying your intent to remain together, a lease or mortgage with both your names on it, a joint checking or credit account with both names on it, and at least one bill with both names on it." If we had been "married," we wouldn't have had to provide more than our marriage license. Kinda ridiculous.

And I don't mean to look a gift horse in the mouth. I'm thankful that the company provided coverage, and provided 'another route' for non-married, same-sex couples. Their explanation to us for why they didn't want our civil union certificate was simply that they had no idea what it meant. We were either married, or unmarried, and if we were unmarried, we needed to provide everything under option B.

I wrote this into my letter to the NJ reps, and I asked them to consider that all my family wants is the same rights, responsibilities, and social recognition as theirs, nothing more. We just want to be equal. Cross your fingers, and for those of you in NJ, write some letters!"

The findings of this committee may seem "vague" or far-fetched, or as if they don't really have an impact on couples that actually have civil unions, but my friend here proves otherwise. And, unfortunately, people may be inclined to scoff at his experience and say something like, "Well, you were obviously able to give them what they requested, and you got your insurance coverage. What's the big deal?"

Well, why should we have extra red tape and proverbial hoops to jump through, just to get the legal protections that the NJ Supreme Court has declared should be rightfully ours?

Consequences of Gay Marriage

2008-11-24T21:26:00.002-05:00

via GraphJam. Too funny!

more music charts

Focus on Your Own Damn Family

2008-11-18T21:23:00.003-05:00

"Focus on Your Own Damn Family" is a phrase consistently used at gay rights protests, especially when James Dobson and his hateful religious "ministry," Focus on the Family, has anything to do with spurring said protest. In fact, I saw a few of these signs at City Hall in NYC this weekend.

But the phrase took on an entirely different meaning to me today when I read an article off Huffington Post stating that the group is having to lay off 20% of its employees .

Really, James?! Really? I mean, I'm feeling a little bit like Amy Poehler here, but, REALLY?!? Ohmygod, are you serious ?!

You were so worried about gay marriage ruining the familes of Californians that you donated over $500,000 to the Yes on 8 campaign, and yet you now have so many budget cuts that you can't afford to keep your OWN DAMN MEMBERS in paying jobs. What about THEIR families, James? Apparently you don't care too much about families being ruined by hunger or debt, only by the possibility of them being "threatened" or "unsanctified" by a lesbian couple down the street (logic which I don't think I'll ever understand).

It's one thing for you to eat the debt from your own discriminatory donations; it's quite another for you to fire your own employees for lack of funds after so happily giving the money that could have kept them employed to a cause that will undoubtedly be overturned by the courts.

Granted, since they work for/are members of Focus on the Family to begin with, they barely even deserve my symapthy at the loss of income, but somehow I just find this appalling.

James Dobson--asshole to his OWN people, too!

... kept right on being gay!

2008-11-17T23:54:00.002-05:00

For those of you following the fallout from the passage of Proposition 8, you'll know that there are a lot of haters out there that, as my friend Todd would say, "Been drinkin' that H8-orade!" They're bigots, they're hateful, they're largely blinded by religious leaders and community pressure and, surprise, surprise, a lot of them aren't that bright. The best evidence I've seen that proves this last generalization is the fabulous blog my sister pointed to called Fundamentally Flawed.

The hilariously snarky people that run the blog find some of the most ignorant and poorly written comments out there from Prop 8 supporters and then mock them mercilessly. Seriously, go spend an hour or so reading different entries and you will find yourself laughing more than not, I assure you.

This one, posted today, however is the most brilliant thing I have ever read. Enjoy!

(The first part in bold is what the ignorant Prop. 8 supporter wrote; what comes after is the blogger's response.)

How the Grinches stole our civil rights

November 17, 2008

“A Wrong Choice that Creates Confusion, by FinestCityMan

Like those from San Francisco Bay,
They argue, we are born Gay!

Truth will prevail and lies will be exposed.
To intimately love the same sex is what you CHOSE.

All people are tempted to do what is not right,
But grasping onto sin is what we need to fight.

Planting a penny in soil and expect it to grow,
Is like the ‘confused love’ of them that don’t know.

Turn eight flat on its side,
It is a symbol that means never die:

For infinity, a man with a man is a mistake.
Think of the future, always vote yes on Prop 8!”

Everyone up in Bay-ville liked gay folks a lot;
FCM, who lived well south of Bay-ville, did not!
He raved and he ranted in passionate verse
With meter that wobbled and rhymes that were worse.
He urged all his readers to vote “yes” on 8
To help California stay narrow and straight.
He typed all night long on Election Day Eve
About cocker spaniels and Adam and Steve—
And when it was clear that the bigots had won,
He said, “Hallelujah! My work here is done!”
But something incredible happened that day:
The gay people just kept right on being gay!
They hadn’t been wiped out. They hadn’t been banished.
None of them vaporized, kicked off, or vanished.
They took to the streets with their struggle to marry—
And he sighed and dug out his rhyme dictionary
To keep writing couplets (not always heroic)
Defending the morals of the Mesozoic.

Posted by fearlessleader

Why I'm Finally Crying

2008-11-11T00:50:00.005-05:00

Tonight I find myself sitting here on what has been a fairly normal Monday, crying. It is unnerving and unexpected, but not entirely surprising.

For almost a week now, I have remained largely numb as a result of the 2008 election cycle. This country did something extraordinary, inspiring and oh-so needed in electing Barack Obama to become the 44^th President of the United States. In a country where he would have once been considered property, where his parents’ relationship would once have been illegal, where he and Vice President-Elect Joe Biden would once have not been able to sit next to each other on a bus or take a drink from the same water fountain—where still today people believe he should die because of his name and the color of his skin—he is now the leader. He has shattered what was (arguably) the last ceiling left for African-Americans to break. Now, almost all doubts among the black youth of America as to their worth has vanished. Now, they can see a bit of themselves in the President of the United States of America, and they know that the American ideal that “Anything is possible,” is actually a reality.

The video and images that have surfaced since Tuesday night absolutely amaze me. In Newark, my friends and I ventured from the apartment building where we watched the results to a predominantly black bar right next door. Several of us have gotten to know the general manager there, and we had to go see her. We had to share our joy with the city of Newark.

Being in that bar gave me an incredible feeling. People were crying; people were hugging; people were celebrating. It was as if our hometown sports team had just won the national championship, only it was all of us that had won. Our country won. Since that night, I’ve discovered that the celebrations in Newark were tame compared to the rest of the world. The celebrations flowed on streets in cities all over the country and all over the world. They celebrated in Kenya, in Australia, in Spain and England. They celebrated in Israel and France. It was as if, with three simple words, this country’s reputation and dignity was reinstated worldwide. Those words were President-Elect Barack Obama.

Obviously, inexplicably mixed with my elation over the presidential landslide, is my complete confusion and devastation from the passage anti-gay marriage amendments in California (Proposition 8), Florida (Proposition 2) and Arizona (Proposition 102). Add Arkansas’s new ban on adoption by non-married couples, and I’m left with even more uncertainty regarding my own standing as an American.

Until last week, I don’t think I’ve ever felt marginalized for being gay. Even having spent 22 years in two of the reddest states in the country, I have never really felt discriminated against, and never felt as though I am any less of a person. Looking back, I think I owe the majority of that credit to my family for being the people they are. I have been incredibly fortunate in that my parents, siblings and extended family are all genuine and loving people. They made my coming out experience exactly what it should be—a complete relief, awkward, joyous and most importantly, painless. After being brought up in that environment, I unconsciously (or perhaps, consciously?) surrounded myself with incredibly fair-minded, loving friends who also accept and love me for exactly the person I am. They don’t simply tolerate me; they love me. To them, I am who I am.

Having said that, however, I have always been keenly aware that not everyone is as blessed as I am. Homophobia and bigotry do exist, as evidenced by anti-LGBT hate crimes, discriminatory hiring processes, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the Defense of Marriage Act, and countless other overlooked aspects of our society. After the 2006 election, thirty states had written discrimination into their constitutions by banning gay marriage, but I still don’t think the magnitude of those decisions resonated with me, not until last week.

On Wednesday, I didn’t go to class. Part was a result of being slightly hungover from the previous night’s celebrations, but the larger part of that decision hinged on the fact that the verdict on Proposition 8 was still out, and I honestly didn’t know how emotionally stable I would be when it was finalized, regardless of the outcome. So I stayed home and refreshed several news sites and kept CNN on almost all day, waiting for a break in the story. Eventually, though it was not officially declared until Thursday, it became painstakingly clear that we had lost. I don’t really remember the moment in which I accepted that fact, but I know that what surprised me the most was all the emotions I didn’t feel. I was angry and insulted and deeply, deeply saddened, but somehow it all still felt very stinted and surreal. I haven’t been able to articulate anything I’ve been feeling. Though there are the obvious reasons why I think this proposition is incredibly, incredibly wrong (not to mention, unconstitutional), I’ve known since Tuesday that there is a feeling even deeper in my heart that makes this hurt on a level that I have never felt pain before.

That brings me to tonight. I crawled in bed, prepared to get to sleep at a decent hour, and began flipping channels when Keith Olbermann caught my attention. Normally, I don’t really watch Olbermann because I simply don’t have time, but I’ve always loved his Special Comments. Tonight took the cake. Luckily, I caught it just when he was starting, and I began crying almost instantly. Eloquently, passionately, fervently and bravely, Olbermann said everything I didn’t even know I felt.

I have now watched that clip four times; it only first aired about two and a half hours ago. I cried on all four occasions and have no apologies. Thank you, Keith, for speaking for those without voices. Thank you for so accurately exclaiming that, “The other guy counts too!”

I count. I fucking count. And I have you—the supporters of these hate-filled amendments—to thank for reminding me and millions of other gay Americans of that fact. Thank you for giving us a platform to rally around. Thank you for motivating us. This is exactly what we, as a country, needed. There is hope within all the rotten.

On the very day that America won perhaps its greatest victory in achieving true equality, we were also handed one of our biggest blows to true equality since the 1950s. Though Obama’s election is something to be truly celebrated for the milestone it is, our nation is still very, very far from realizing equality, and it was precisely in this moment that we need to be reminded of such.

When talking about the relation of my legal education to the new emergence of the gay rights’ movement, one of my very good college friends (and possibly one of the greatest straight allies in my life) had this to say to me: “Don’t let [this] consume you so much that you lose sight of what you’re doing… The thing that will keep us sane is knowing that there will always be something to fight for… there’s always going to be idiots out there that make us use our intelligence to fight for what is right.”

The fight has just begun, and make no mistake about it--we will soldier on.

That is something worth crying over.

I Need You!

2008-10-22T22:38:00.006-04:00

Hello faithful (few) readers! I have something quite important to talk to you about today. You see, I am terrified about November 4th. I am honestly, absolutely, disgustingly afraid that The Worst Thing Ever will win in this election. No, I'm not talking about Sarah Palin, or even John McCain for that matter. I'm talking about California's Proposition 8.

Prop 8 seeks to amend the California Constitution to define marriage as "one man and one woman." This would not only reverse the May California Supreme Court decision to allow same-sex couples to marry (and therefore nullify the marriage licenses of thousands of happy couples), but it will actually eliminate many domestic partnership and civil union rights of opposite-sex couples in California. Plainly, this proposition sucks and would be GIGANTIC step backwards for gay rights, the state, and the country as a whole.

Unfortunately, the proponents of the proposition are being backed by many wealthy and powerful religious groups and coalitions, and have been severely out-fundraising The Gays. Hence, eight witty, intelligent, outspoken and (most notably) gay lady bloggers have joined forces to help fight the good fight. Without further ado, I present to you THE 8 AGAINST 8:

Here's how they describe themselves in a note on their Facebook group:

Eight lesbian bloggers have come together in a coordinated effort to help place the discriminatory ballot initiative called Proposition 8 in its rightful place in the dust heap of history.

The bloggers are:
Grace Chu and Grace Rosen of http://www.gracethespot.com
Pam Spaulding of http://www.pamshouseblend.com
Dorothy Snarker of http://dorothysurrenders.blogspot.com
Lori Hahn of http://www.hahnathome.com
Kelly Leszczynski of http://www.thelesbianlifestyle.com
Sinclair of http://www.sugarbutch.net
Riese of http://marielynbernard.blogspot.com and
Renee Gannon of http://www.lesbiatopia.com

URL: http://www.8against8.com

Promotions and giveaways are available:
See http://gracethespot.com/?page_id=494 for more details
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As of the latest update on Grace the Spot at 10:15 pm tonight, 145 people had donated $7,885. This is pretty impressive. These ladies are only $115 shy of their goal (and possibly at it by the time this posts), and there are still five days left in the project! But, don't let that dissuade you. Please, please, please donate something if you can afford to. Even if it's only $5-10, it will add up.

I can tell you, on a personal level, that this proposition means an awful lot to an awful lot of people. Though I have never lived in California, I feel as though this proposition directly affects me on a level that no politically motivated decision has in my lifetime. If the ability for same-sex couples to marry cannot stand in one of the most liberal & accepting states in the nation, then I sincerely believe I will never see it on a scale larger than a few northeastern states. The sad fact is that the LGBT community is one of the few groups of people in this country that are still widely, openly and acceptably discriminated against. It's not right; it's not fair; and more than anything, it's not American.

If you know anyone in California, please urge them to VOTE NO on Proposition 8, and if you are capable and so inclined, please donate whatever you can to the cause.

Ellen (and I) thank you.

UPDATE: The Eight just met their GOAL! Congrats ladies! Donors--keep it coming!

McCain cares about your "health!"

2008-10-17T08:26:00.000-04:00

Seriously, he does! I mean, you see that look of concern on his face for your "health," don't you?

Wait... air quotes are usually a sarcastic way to brush something off and/or imply something (like the health issues of pregnant women) doesn't exist? Well, shit. I guess McCain is still the misogynist asshole he always was.

Fuck off, old man.

Jon Stewart is my boyfriend.

2008-09-10T00:42:00.001-04:00

Best line?
"I LOVE HER! SHE'S FOLKSY!"
(not to mention the 'San Francisco' reference!)

..

A more serious post regarding Palin's selection, the absurdity of her political career (if it's length even justifies use of such a word), and the implications the GOP has offered in backing her with the blind resilience they have, is to come.
Stay tuned.

the greatest three minutes

2008-08-10T02:11:00.003-04:00

Everyone needs to see this video, pronto.

It isn't often that I am actually moved to tears, but I have watched this video three times now, and I can honestly say that I have had to wipe them away each time. Please, pass them along to your mothers, sisters, aunts, best friends, girlfriends, and everyone else in between.

Seeing these young men gives me hope.

Bless all three of you.

My Newest Toy

2008-06-11T01:27:00.003-04:00

So, just prior to going to the Elvis Festival this weekend (it was exactly as it sounds...) I went with my parental unit to pick out my first guitar. My dad told me back in December that it was going to be my graduation present, but we didn't get around to actually go shopping for one until this weekend. And, I must say, I LOVE her.

I'm definitely a rookie when it comes to stringed instruments, but I've wanted to learn how to play the guitar for a very long time. In fact, for a brief period of time in high school, three of my friends and I formed a "band" (I use that term very loosely) that we called Wicked SF. No, I will not tell you what SF meant--to this day, the four of us are the only ones who know the true meaning. But, back in those (naive) days, I was the bass player in our band, and I even swiped my bro-in-law's bass guitar for a good 6 months to "learn."

But, in all seriousness, this time I really do plan on learning how to my play my new Takamine.

This far, I know about a dozen chords and a very, very basic version of "Free Fallin" by Tom Petty and the intro to the Super Mario Brothers theme song. Oh yes; just call me a rock star.

Please Forgive Me!

2008-06-07T00:15:00.003-04:00

Ladies, ladies, ladies...

I know it's been a while. I apologize; please forgive me. I mean, we're grown, right? We can get past this.

A lot has been happening in my life lately that I will now use as an excuse for being so extremely lax in posting:

I went on two bi-coastal trips recently to look at law schools: once to San Francisco and one to New Jersey. Surprisingly enough (for myself included), New Jersey won out, and I'll be going to school at Seton Hall University Law School in August, and I am freaking pumped.

I'm between residences right now (aka, crashing with the parentals for two months--don't judge, I'm only 22 for Christ's sake!) which means I've moved recently, and so I've been living out of boxes and will be for a while. Also, I'm hoping for my BFF (that recently moved to HOTlanta) to confirm for me that I'm visiting her over 4th of July weekend for a Braves-Phillies game and Atlanta Pride.

Oh wells, it's past my bedtime, but rest assured that I will visit you more often, I promise! ;)

Cheers!
-Leesh

Californication

2008-04-17T16:37:00.005-04:00

So, I'm flying out to California this morning!

I really really cannot wait. I am flying in and out of Los Angeles, but my sister (and brother-in-law?) and I are driving up to the bay area for Saturday and Sunday. Saturday I will spend my time at Santa Clara University on an official law school visit, and then will spend most of Sunday in San Francisco sight-seeing and checking out the campus of the University of San Francisco. Who knows, maybe a little apartment hunting will be included!

Big fat bonus for the trip: I get to hang out with my sister all weekend!

I sincerely hope that American Airlines has gotten their act together, though. I have been really looking forward to this trip for a while, and I'll be pissed and bitter if they mess it up.

Wish me luck, and happy weekending!

Funny Femmes

2008-04-16T11:53:00.009-04:00

I have decided that stand-up comedy is one of best things in the world. You have to be incredibly witty to write it, incredibly personable to deliver it, and incredibly brave to subject yourself to a crowd of strangers. It is one of those things I would love to do one day, but know that I would never be good at. Regardless, I love when I find a new comedian to enjoy. Last October, my sister and bro-in-law introduced me to Kyle Cease (like a vagina!) and I have caught him a few times since.

But, as much as I enjoy Kyle and Jim Gaffigan, nothing beats a good female comedian.

Grainy camera phone pic of me and Gaffigan

While the stand-up world is largely dominated by men, there are several female comics that have found success that extends even rather beyond the mic. However, it seems like the most successful ones make their living by mocking other celebrities.

Kathy Griffin on Paula Abdul:

Oh, it's funny 'cause it's true.

Sarah Silverman on Paris Hilton:

I watched that as it happened (on the MTV Awards), and I cannot tell you how shocked I was to see Sarah deliver those jokes with Paris in the audience! That takes some serious guts.

But there are some young, fresh female comics out there making waves these days. Any of you that read AfterEllen.com are familiar with the gorgeously brilliant Bridget McManus, but just in case, here are two of my favorite clips of hers. (Warning: These clips are NOT SAFE FOR WORK, or parents for that matter. So, mom and dad, consider yourselves warned.)

From her Holiday show at the Hollywood Improv:
Hollywood IMPROV Holiday Show

From the AfterEllen.com AfterNoon at The Dinah:
New version of "You Wouldn't F*ck Me When I Was Fat" sing-along

I cannot wait to move to California so that I can see her shows live.

Lastly, I have to give some love to Amy Schumer. Some of you may recognize her from The Last Comic Standing on Comedy Central:

But I caught her (and loved her) before she hit that stage on one of the Live at Gotham specials:
Amy Schumer on "Live at Gotham"

Not enough for you? Head over to AfterEllen.com and check out the Logo Comedy Cocktail Hour and more from the AfterEllen AfterNoon.

Weirdest Hour Ever

2008-04-14T11:35:00.002-04:00

So sorry to have abandoned you, my loyal readers, for the past few days. I was a writing fool (or just a fool, that's up for debate) over at AfterEllen last week, and I just didn't have the time to keep up with both blogs. But, I wanted to kick-start this week by telling you a story. You may not care, and you may think it's the dumbest story you've ever heard (this is probably likely), but I want to tell it anyways. Hey, it's my prerogative! Anyway, onward with the story:

Last Thursday night I had an experience that will probably go down as one of the oddest and most absurd things that ever happened to me. What was it, you ask? Oh, don't worry. I am here to tell you.

[Slight set up, first. My room is on the ground floor, in the back of my house. Behind my room is a hallway/alcove area that leads to a shared bathroom and the door to our very large backyard. The only way to access said bathroom is through my room, which I have become accustomed to.]

So, it was sometime just after 11:30 pm, maybe 11:40, and I was laying in bed, half asleep, with my back towards the main part of my room. I heard a little bit of shuffling that I thought nothing of; I just figured my roommate (I'll call her Natalie) was going through to use the bathroom. But then, just a few seconds later, I heard REALLY LOUD banging in my little alcove and I shot up in bed, scared shitless. After a second of silence, I called out to Natalie, and got no response. She wasn't back there.

I grabbed the pepper spray that I keep on my nightstand and ran out into the living room to find Natalie sitting at the table doing homework. I was out of breath, and I'm sure white as a ghost, so I told her what happened. We cautiously went back into my room and flipped on all the lights. We still didn't find anyone, or any source of the noise. As I started describing what it sounded like to her, I realized it must have been someone banging on the back door.This obviously (and rightfully) freaked us out to no end, and we began looking out windows into the backyard, but we didn't see anyone there.

After another short discussion, I looked back out the window, and, on the step by that back door, I saw an object--a semi-round, spiky object just sitting on the step, right up against the door. I screamed and jumped back and the freak-out started up all over again. Natalie had no clue what it is either. We stood there for a few moments, staring at it, trying to get a better idea of what it was, to no avail. At this point, I suggested that it might be some kind of animal balled up and scared.

One of our other roommates, Kristen, came down to see what all the fuss was about. We explained to her what happened, and she confirmed that she heard the knocking, too. And we stood around trying to determine who in the world would drop off this still-unidentified thing, knock, and then run away. We then started to go through this whole process of Googling things we thought it could be: Porcupine? No. Raccoon? Nope. Oh! A hedgehog! Yeah! That's it!

Wait... nope. Hedgehogs only get to be about the size of a softball when curled, and the USC (unidentified spiky creature--not University of South Carolina) was definitely bigger than my head.

Natalie then got bored with the whole confusion and returned to the living room, and Kristen headed to the kitchen, leaving me in my room to continue my determined Google search. Then, I went back to the window for another look...

AND. IT'S. GONE.

So I yell, "Holy shit guys, it was an animal and it got up and ran away!" That grabs their attention again, so then we started looking out the windows looking for a creature somewhere in our yard or in front of the house or something, but we didn't really see anything.

Then, again, after a bit of searching, Natalie and Kristen returned to their other activities. I was still being stubborn and wasn't giving up. While looking out a window to the front of the house from Natalie's room, I saw Tiny, a stray neighborhood cat we feed, come up onto the porch.

I said, "Aww, Tiny's here! He'll protect us!" Which prompted Kristen to look out the front door at Tiny. She then let out a scream that no person's ears should ever be subjected to in their life. The cause? The USC was SITTING ON OUR PORCH IN FRONT OF THE FRONT DOOR IN THE SAME DAMN POSITION. Poor Tiny was just sitting there next to it , staring at us FREAK OUT through the window. After the initial shock of seeing it in front of our other door, we realize d that it couldn't be an animal, because an animal wouldn't do that. But, that only left one explanation: whomever initially put the USC by the back door and knocked was STILL AROUND and timed it just right to grab it and take it to the front... which is an incredible feat considering the fact that someone was looking out the windows almost the entire time.

Once I coiuld form coherent thoughts again, I began to look at the USC more objectively, and then noticed (for the first time) something different jutting out one side--a stem. It's a fruit! A fruit, I tell ya! So, I returned to my trusty laptop and typed "large spiky fruit" into a Google image search, and what would you know, the answer was staring me right back in the face.

The stupid thing is called a durian fruit, and it is now the bane of my existence. But, this isn't quite the end of the story.

Even after finding numerous pictures of exactly the same thing as was sitting in front of our door, we still weren't 100% convinced. (Hey, after almost an hour--yes, an hour--of being terrified of this thing, you aren't going to drop your fear like "that"!) So, just to make sure it's not a crazy, rabid animal, and before we opened the door, we poked the damn thing through the mail slot with a big stick. After seeing it wasn't going to come to life and attack us, I was still freaked out, but we eventually conquered our fears and opened the door. Turns out, the fruit in question had already been eaten and smelled horribly. Eww.

Now, we still don't know for sure who the culprit was (but do have strong evidence against one individual), but I guarantee you they got more entertainment than they could have possibly imagined. What probably began as a prank thinking, "Hey, let's go scare Leesh with this ugly fruit," turned into an hour-long spectacle involving three of the four roommates, a cat, a mega-search engine, a stick and lots of fear.

Oh, and the perpetrator created a FACEBOOK PROFILE PAGE for the damn fruit. Seriously, its name is Durian Fruit and it is getting its masters in Fashion Merchandising from Fruit International University. It has one friend (me) some really stupid quotes. I don't know whether to feel dumb that I was pranked so well it was justifiable to follow up the prank with a Facebook profile, or feel bad for the prankster that they have stooped so low as to follow up the prank with a Facebook profile.

Ah, dilemmas.

Til next time,
Cheers!

Repeat Repeats!

2008-04-09T14:17:00.004-04:00

My girls, the University of Tennessee women's basketball team, won their second straight National Title last night--64-48 over Stanford and unanimously took their rightful place atop the final ESPN/USA Today coaches poll, released today.

Candace Parker, the AP Player of the Year, led the team with 17 points, followed by Shannon Bobbitt with 13 and 12 points from Nicky Anosike.

Parker

Anosike

Making this their 8th championship under head coach Pat Summitt, the Lady Vol program has become the first women's team to win back-to-back championships twice.

Summitt and her son (in the bottom right)

Less than 24 hours after the celebrations began in Knoxville, they have something else to be cheering for now, as well: the Tennessee program has had two players chosen in the top five of the WNBA draft. Parker (as suspected) was taken as the No. 1 overall pick, and will play alongside the returning Lisa Leslie for the Los Angeles Sparks. Guard Alexis Hornbuckle was taken fourth by the Detroit Shock. Bobbitt was the first pick of the second round, and will join Parker as an LA Sparks player, while Anosike was taken by the Minnesota Lynx.

All in a day's work for the most dominating women in college basketball.

Yo Momma!

2008-04-04T17:04:00.004-04:00

Last Friday, I posted two videos of the lovely and talented Tina Fey that had brought me joy throughout the week. This week has not been lacking on laughter either, as my lovely sister shared this site with me a few days ago: Postcards From Yo Momma!

The site is comprised of reader-submitted emails, IMs, gchats and the like from their unsuspecting (and often computer illiterate) mothers. I have shown this around to a few of my friends, and the reactions have been mixed. Several have found it to be as incredibly entertaining as I, while other simply don't seem to get it.

Perhaps it is the daily IMs I get from my own mother that allow me to resonate so much with the children of these fabulous and unwitting moms. Regardless, I simply cannot get enough. These two are my favorite thus far:

Re: comments
From Mom:
I had a comment about one of your pictures but after I typed it I got nervous about hitting publish. Is that I am supposed to do? Let me know.Mom
From me:
Yes, I think you should just hit publish. You're not going to crash the internet.
From Mom:
I have a fear of Utube and becoming internationally famous or infamous.

Look who finally learned the computer.
Look who finally learned the computer. Dad set me up email ACCOUNT AND ALSO SHOWED ME HOW TO GO ONLINE.I DON’T KNOW WHY EVERYTHING IS SUDDENLY WRITING BIG LIKE THIS, SO JUST IGNORE IT. SO HOW WAS THE CONCERT YOU WENT TO WITH FRIENDS/ CALL ME SOON. THIS WRITING IS WEIRD SORRY, LOVE MOM.

Oh, goodness. Please, now, set aside a few hours of your weekend to browse the others, and post your favorites in the comments.

Happy weekending!

My School's (Gay) Newspaper

2008-04-03T10:38:00.004-04:00

Even if it dropped the ball by failing to cover the passage of LGBT discrimination protection in its own city, USC's student newspaper, The Daily Gamecock, has spent a large part of today's issue discussing LGBT issues on the other coast.

The lead article addresses the fact that San Jose State University's administration recently banned the Red Cross from hosting blood drives on-campus due to the FDA policy that does not allow men who have had sex with men donate.

This decision has become national news, especially among gay news outlets. SJSU, like many college campuses (including USC), has a non-discrimination policy that includes sexual orientation. Taken from a President's Statement on their website, their policy reads:

Discrimination of any kind, including, but not limited to age, ancestry, color, creed, disability, marital status, medical condition, national origin, pregnancy, race, religion, sex, or sexual orientation, is an affront to the entire University community and is strictly prohibited.

What angers me about the reactions to SJSU's new policy is that they are largely reactionary and uneducated. The policy was not enacted as a ploy to put a "political agenda in front of a program" that saves lives. The policy was not part of some overarching gay conspiracy (paging Sally Kern) to stick-it-to-the-man, but rather it is a policy created by a University in an effort to abide by their own policies. Much like the damage that "gay" marriage bans has done to many straight couples in states like Arizona, occasionally well-intended policies* backfire.

(*The phrase "well-intended policies" should not be applied to any marriage-related ban; those are just plain stupid.)

In addition to the coverage given to SJSU, The Daily Gamecock also included a very well-written editorial on the recent fury of judgment and hatred that has surfaced towards the transgendered community in the wake of the news that a transgender man from Oregon named Thomas Beatie is pregnant.

The editorial, which can be read (warning: bigoted comments included) in its full entirety here, is a nice contrast from the misguided one in last week's paper.

In case you missed it (as I know I will due to work), go here to see Thomas get an ultrasound on Oprah today in his first television interview.

Best Forgotten Songs

2008-03-28T19:43:00.008-04:00

During my lazy, television-filled weekend, I caught a lot of useless programming that no semi-intelligent person should ever actually watch, and I enjoyed every minute of it. One such example was "100 Greatest Songs of the 90s" on vh1. Being a product of the mid-80s, much of my adolescence was spent in the 1990s, and many of the songs featured I remembered well. Of course, there was a substantial amount that I either had never heard or (rightfully) chosen to forget, too. However, hidden in the depths of that chart were fantastic songs that I had forgotten completely about.

So, without further ado, and in no particular order, these are some of my favorite songs of the 1990s (OK, and the 2000s. It's my list, I can do what I want!) that I had forgotten completely about:

"Comfortable" by John Mayer (1999)

This song defines my high school musical obsessions, yet, until this weekend, I think it had been over three years since I listened to it. Still, it's so so so good.

"Shine" by Collective Soul (1993)

Every year in Columbia, there is a big St. Paddy's Day Festival. It is literally one of the highlights of my year, as I get to party-hearty on the streets of Five Points with 30,000 of my closest friends. During my freshman year at USC (and the first year that I got to experience this), Collective Soul played. I think about 70% of the people there had no idea who these guys were until they sang "Shine." But at that moment, the crowd came alive, and the drunken masses started "singing" along with the band as loud as possible. It was definitely a moment to remember.

"Criminal" by Fiona Apple (1996)

During my middle and high school years (at the height of Apple's fame), I was too much of a teeny-bopper to really appreciate her music. Last summer, however, my very good friend (and concert buddy) Elliot invited me to a Nickel Creek concert in Charlotte, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that she was opening. That night, I came to the conclusion that I had been missing out for well over a decade.

"Motorcycle Drive-By" by Third Eye Blind (1997)

Just a beautifully underrated song.

"Zombie" by the Cranberries (1994)

I vividly remember singing these lyrics with sister in the rec room of our childhood home. Too bad we were too young to have any idea what they meant.

"Waterfalls" by TLC (1995)

Oh, be still my beating 9-year old heart. This was one of the first CDs I ever owned!

"Zak and Sarah" by Ben Folds Five (2001)

(Sorry about the quality of this video. It was the best I could find. Really. And I must say, this video does NOTHING for Ben Folds' performance abilities. He totally rocks.)

"Pardon Me" by Incubus (1999)

So intense. So real.

"Bright Lights" by Matchbox 20 (2003)

This song has to be one of my all-time favorites. It came out at an incredibly difficult time in my life, and I identified with and clung onto every word. This probably offers some insight into why it is a "forgotten" song to me--I try not to remember.

"Your Winter" by Sister Hazel (2000)

(Again, sorry about the quality.)

"Come to My Window" by Melissa Etheridge (1994)

I love this acoustic version; you can hear Melissa's gravelly voice better!

"Black Balloon" by Goo Goo Dolls (1999)

My favorite song by one of my favorite bands. Can't wait for their upcoming album.

"Not Ready to Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks (2006)

This last one is definitely not one I should be forgetting. Not only is it less than two years old, but it is possibly one of the best "stick-it-to-the-man" songs ever written. Yet, every time I hear this song, I get teary-eyed. There is something very beautiful about defiance.

So, I've shown my hand. What songs do you love, yet always forget about?

LIIT Pitchers and Tina Fey

2008-03-28T15:41:00.004-04:00

Things I have been reminded of lately:

Life is way too damn short.

Some people are incredibly dense.

Correction; many people are incredibly dense, and

Staying out drinking until 2:30 am is not wise when you work have to be at 8:00 am.

Because of the latter, my brain is not functioning properly, so I will simply leave you with this:

and this:

I am so in love with that woman.

Straight Parents with Gay Children

2008-03-23T16:45:00.005-04:00

I was perusing my co-worker's latest issue of Details magazine while bored at work on Friday and came across a very interesting article entitled, "Would You Really Be Okay with a Gay Kid?" The full article can be found here, but, of course, I am going to break it down for you.

The article mainly deals with the dynamic between fathers and their gay sons, even quoting two exceedingly liberal, homo-friendly fathers who have young sons that already exhibit "signs" of gayness (whatever those may be). Interestingly enough, the article "outs" these dads as being less-than-pleased about their effeminate sons and their behavior. Citing a "hyperawareness of gay culture," it seems as though those with closest ties to the LGBT community have the biggest problems with their children being gay because they are familiar with the issues that gays and lesbians face throughout their life.

While, in theory, I can understand that logic, I cannot wholeheartedly get behind it. To me, anyone that is that ingrained in gay culture would also know that gay people are as normal as straight people (shocking, I know), and that the large majority of gays feel as though their sexual orientation makes them stronger, prouder and more self-aware. Yes, the road is not always smooth for LGBT folk, depending on their religion, geographic location or profession, but one's coming out process is not necessarily also their death sentence. Wouldn't these dads understand that?

On the flip side, the article hints at the idea that religious and conservative parents who have little exposure (or acceptance?) towards gay people are often the easiest parents to come out to "because of [their] value of family."

I'm calling bullshit. Not to say that religious or conservative parents cannot be accepting (because they most certainly can and do), but it has nothing to do with value of family. I think James Dobson alone proves that. And I also think there is also something to be said for the difference between parents tolerating their gay children and accepting their gay children. I know plenty of people who's parents still love them, still support them, and still generally treat them the same that they always did, but never really acknowledge the fact that their child is gay. The friends in question never feel comfortable talking about their significant others to their parents or doing something as simple as telling them they're going to a Pride Festival. Sometimes, I think this can be just as damaging as outright rejection.

Bottom line? Though an interesting read (and theory), I think this article extrapolates way too much from the confessions of just two fathers.

For more information on relationships between parents and gay kids, read Love, Ellen by Betty Degeneres (Ellen's momma) or check out sites like PFLAG.

I <3 Columbia, SC!

2008-03-20T16:02:00.007-04:00

South Carolina is getting pretty bad press these days for a variety of reasons. But, the city of Columbia (my home!) hasn't gotten nearly the credit it deserves for historical ordinance it passed earlier this month.

Courtesy of NationalGayNews.com:

Columbia, SC, March 5, 2008
-- Today the Columbia City Council voted unanimously to pass ordinances prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity in housing and public accommodations. South Carolina Equality proposed these ordinances in January and the ordinances passed with little opposition.

You can read the rest of the article here, but I think you get the idea. In a state that overwhelmingly passed a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage in 2006, that is quite an accomplishment. One, in fact, that has only happened in two other cities in the "deep South": Atlanta and New Orleans.

My old hometown of Nashville, TN tried to do this (as well as add "sexual orientation" to an anti-discrimination ordinance for government agencies) back in 2003, but it did not get past it's third reading. So disappointing.

Bottom line? I am loving Columbia right now.

Civil Unions Revisted

2008-03-17T21:31:00.009-04:00

Since Vermont legalized civil unions for same-sex couples in 2000, the battle between legalizing same-sex civil unions vs. same-sex marriage vs. neither has been raging. If you had awoken from a coma a week or two before the 2004 presidential election, you most likely would have thought the World Trade Center had collapsed under the weight of too many gay marriages. Well, I guess that's fair, since we're a threat to national security.

In the past decade, 26 states have passed constitutional amendments defining marriage as "one man and one woman" and an additional 19 have laws defining marriage as "one man and one woman." Many states that have recently passed constitutional amendments had previous laws that banned same-sex marriages, yet pursued the amendments regardless. Of the 45 states that make it illegal marry a same-sex partner, 17 states' laws extend to other legally defined relationships, such as civil unions, common-law marriages and domestic partnerships. This, consequently, affects opposite-sex couples who use these terms to define their relationship as well.

On the other hand, poll data shows that the support for legally recognized civil unions between same-sex couples is on the rise. In looking at the positions held by most major Democratic politicians today, many support offering same-sex civil unions, but very few support same-sex marriages. The blanket response has been something along the lines of,

"We've got to make sure that everybody is equal under the law. And the civil unions that I proposed would be equivalent in terms of making sure that all the rights that are conferred by the state are equal for same-sex couples as well as for heterosexual couples. Now, with respect to marriage, it's my belief that it's up to the individual denominations to make a decision as to whether they want to recognize marriage or not. But in terms of, you know, the rights of people to transfer property, to have hospital visitation, all those critical civil rights that are conferred by our government,
those should be equal."

Okay, so maybe "along the lines of" isn't quite right, since that is a direct quote from Barack Obama taken from the 2007 CNN/Youtube Debate in Charleston, South Carolina. Basically, most Democratic politicians want to create a separate but equal "institution." Countless times, I have heard people chastise the gay community for being "greedy" and not accepting the "gift" of civil unions. The argument is that if it's the rights that we want, then civil unions should suffice, right?

Not quite. It appears that the flawed "gift" of civil unions is finally being exposed. It seems that Connecticut is following in the footsteps of New Jersey and California as the latest state to re-examine their state's policies on same-sex unions and whether or not they are sufficient. Though current Connecticut law "guarantees" couples in civil unions the same benefits and rights as married couples, there have been many misunderstandings, and the status of these relationships is apparently too confusing for health care workers and government employees, making the receipt of these benefits a huge hassle for many couples. Senator Andrew McDonald (D-Stamford) is co-chair of the bill that is in front of the state's legislature now. Said to be intended to "clean up" issues that these same-sex couples face, such as being considered next of kin and how to recognize same-sex couples that are legally married in Massachusetts. The legislation comes on the heals of a hearing in front of the Connecticut Supreme Court which will determine whether denying same-sex couples a marriage license in the state is unconstitutional. With decisions due to come from the high courts of both Connecticut and California in the near future, it appears as though the scope of this debate is going to change--it is only the direction of the change that is still unknown.

Update on Bigoted Legislator!

2008-03-12T16:24:00.006-04:00

There have been new developments in the ordeal that has become of the remarks made by Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern.

First of all, Kern has openly stated that she does not regret her statements, nor plan on issuing an apology anytime in the near future. Pansy.

Secondly, this afternoon I was watching The Ellen Degeneres Show (shocking, I know) and Ellen played clips of Kern's rant! Then, as if that weren't awesome enough, at the end of the audio, Ellen stared blankly at the camera and then said, "I feel like there's some misinformation going on here." Then, as Ellen tends to do (as a joke), she turned around and picked up to phone and CALLED Rep. Kern. Her voicemail was full (not surprising), so Ellen then directed her comments to the camera.

"Hi, it's Ellen Degeneres--the gay one."

Following that up with some amazing gay-lady jokes (I believe there were references to Dinah Shore and the WNBA in one sentence), she effectively addressed a serious issue while being funny. Such talent.

Check out the clip.

EVEN MORE UPDATE! Thanks to pecola for the hot tip about the rumors that Kern herself has a gay son! What do you think? True? Does this explain it? Is it her inability to accept her own son's homosexuality that has pushed her to such a level of hatred? Weigh in on the debate in the comments!

"What you say, matters."

2008-03-10T14:55:00.009-04:00

"Sometimes when you're so close to it, emotionally, I can't write about it. And only now, can I begin." -Jennifer Cornay

For a few weeks now, I have been wanting to write about the murder of Lawrence King, the openly gay 15-year old boy shot to death in Oxnard, CA on February 13th. When it initially happened, I posted a blog from fightOUTloud.org onto my myspace. At the time it was written, the story was largely being swept under the rug by mainstream media. Since then, major news outlets have latched onto the story, and vigils have been held across the country in King's memory. Ellen DeGeneres even took a moment from her normally upbeat and comedic talk show to talk about the issue.

So I've been wanting to mention it. I've been wanting to write about hate crimes laws and the lack of protection for LGBT students, especially those whose gender identity varies from the societal norm, as it appears King's did. I've been wanting to write about the fact that King's killer, Brandon McInerney, is being tried as an adult, despite being only 14 years old. But every time I have sat at my desk to write, I've stopped. I've found something else to do, or something more "pressing" to write on.

Over the weekend, I learned of another hate-motivated murder of 17-year old Simmie Williams in Fort Lauderdale, FL. Like King, Williams often dressed in drag and never felt the need to hide his identity or personality from anyone. Unlike, King, however, Williams's murderer is still free. A local paper reports that the reward for information leading to the killer's arrest is up to $15,000.

After hearing about the Williams case, I began wondering why I kept putting off writing about something that is so inherently important to me, both as a gay person and as a future "legal scholar." Then, yesterday, I finally got around to watching Cathy DeBuono's latest video blog on AfterEllen.com. Her guest, Jennifer Cornay, spoke the words I opened with, and I realized why I haven't been writing about these murders. They hit too close to home. They are all too real and all too emotionally draining for me. But, thanks to this PSA from LOGO and GLSEN, I have realized that I must speak out on whatever measly platform I have.

As Ellen so eloquently put it, "we must change the message." Sadly, there are still people out there that believe gays and lesbians are trying to "take over" and intend on ruining society with some broad, diabolical scheme. Don't believe me? Check out this video created by the Victory Fund in response to an audio recording of Oklahoma state representative Sally Kern going on a n anti-gay rant. Not only does she repeatedly imply that it is a "lifestyle," but also suggests that the LGBT community is "destroying our nation," "infiltrating city councils," and plotting to get children into early childhood education so as to brainwash them into accepting homosexuality. Yes, because that would be so horrible for children to go up in an open-minded environment rather than a judgmental, elitist, minority-hating, Bible-thumping household as you have convinced me yours is, Mrs. Kern. Regardless, here's the video.

It is clear that the message of hate and bigotry still very much pervades the society we live in. And it is clear that these messages have contributed to creating a mindset (especially among young people) that it is okay to be so hateful and distrusting of a major demographic in this country. Here in South Carolina, we have felt the sorrow of losing one of our own to an anti-gay hate crime. Last May, 20-year old Sean Kennedy was fatally beaten outside a gay bar in Greenville, SC. Unlike the King case, Sean's murderer is not being charged with a hate crime, because hate crimes do not exist--in any form--in the state of South Carolina. One of only two states without any form of hate crimes statutes, South Carolina is way behind, and to help combat the issue, Sean's mother has created a foundation called Sean's Last Wish, whose mission is to change the laws in South Carolina and allow for sentence enhancement in bias motivated crimes.

The longer it takes for these cases to be properly prosecuted, and the more frequently people (especially public figures) go unchecked in spreading hateful lies about the gay community, the more young people we will lose to this senseless violence. Do something. Correct people who use the words "fag" or "gay" in everyday conversation. Tell people when you're offended by an off-color joke. Do not continue to support movies, television shows, celebrities and politicians that are part of the problem, rather than the solution.

"These words send a message that it is okay to hate and discriminate... Choose to be an ally, and a friend."

My Feminist Soap-Box

2008-03-10T13:28:00.007-04:00

I think I have been fairly open about my distaste for some aspects of Hillary Clinton's candidacy. But I feel like I should make it a bit clearer that I don't dislike the majority of her platform points, nor will I be completely devastated if she edges out Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination. I, for one, am proud to be living through an era where a woman and a black man are on the same political stage as the politically typical "old white Christian man." And I have (surprisingly) found myself enraged and defensive over much of the coverage of her campaign.

On one hand, the tired distraught woman shows some emotion at a small campaign gathering and people call her sensitive and weak. The rest of the time she's "shrill" or "whiny" or "cold". What gives? How the hell is she supposed to escape from the double standard?

And don't even get me started on this guy's ill-informed misogynistic take on her New Hampshire "tears". I swear to God I wish I knew him so I could knock those little headphones off his bald head and scream some sense into his ears.

I would take this opportunity to go on a rant about the use of the word "bitch" to describe Clinton, but Tina Fey did it so beautifully (and HILARIOUSLY), I will let her take over for a few moments.

Tina, you slay me.

So, I had been wondering how, almost NINETY YEARS since women have had the right to vote for president, people still don't seem to think they are qualified enough to BE president. And then I saw this clip, from the lovely ~~puppets~~ ladies of Fox News. And I understood.

I think a little piece of me just died inside.

Until WOMEN are willing to stand-up to the gender-norm chauvinist MEN in our society, it won't stop. Granted, those women are Fox News employees, which must mean they ditched their dignity long ago. However, I still have a hard time grasping the idea that someone who is obviously somewhat intelligent in some arenas can be so close-minded and have so little respect for yourself.

Perhaps my feminist hat is on just a little too tight lately, but I can't help but get agitated. What do you think? Am I overreacting, or right on point?

Jewish Rappers and Opinionated Lesbians

2008-03-07T10:22:00.006-05:00

While reading the latest installment of AfterEllen.com's Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever., I found myself laughing a lot more than usual. The culprit? Music videos. No, not the Kanye West kind (his tend to be pretty terrible), but the comedic kind.

The first is by MC Jew C & Lil' Mitzvah. I present to you, "You Say Clinton/I Say Obama".

You Say Hillary/I Say Obama
by urbancoco

I love the dancing. And the tagline--"Let's vote Republicans off!"

Secondly, Big Gay Sketch Show co-stars, Julie Goldman and Kate McKinnon teamed up again. Julie has adapted her commentary on same-sex marriage into what is being called (by Julie herself) "the most-rockin-comedy-right-to-marry-political-video-ever!" I tend to agree with that assessment. You decide.

My favorite line? "The Christian right are more obsessed with the gays than the gays are obsessed with the gays." And that's hard to do.

Also, I love that Julie isn't afraid to blur the roles of Comedian and Political Activist. That's such an admirable trait, and a necessary one, in the gay community. There are so few out celebrities (however you want to define that term) that I think they should be taking advantage of their platform to do some good. Glad to see Julie (and Kate!) seem to agree. Can't wait to see more from these two in the future!

Anyways, best to you and yours. Happy weekending!

Where Have All the Divas Gone?

2008-03-06T12:25:00.007-05:00

I have a confession to make: I am slightly obsessed with American Idol. While I didn't jump on the bandwagon until the beginning of season two, I have been a faithful follower for the past five years and have continued that streak into this new season. After watching last night's performances, however, I cannot help but wonder: Where have all the divas gone?

Perhaps I have not given this year's ladies enough time yet. Perhaps I am simply blind and deaf. But looking back on seasons past, there has always been at least one girl that can simply "blow" (to quote the too-often-repetitious Randy Jackson). This group seems just barely lacking, though.

Allow me to prove my point. Season one displayed the vocal chops on both the eventual winner, Kelly Clarkson and Tamyra Gray. I need to spend no more time defending Clarkson's vocal ability and diva label, so allow me to discuss Tamyra a little bit further. Though she finished fourth, many Idol "experts" presume that was a result of her fans assuming her safety, and instead choosing to vote for their second favorites. See Tamyra sing "A House is Not a Home" below.

On season two, there were two ladies to get excited about: Kimberly Locke and Trenyce. Locke finished third to Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken. I much preferred Locke to Trenyce, but that is most likely my bias due to the fact that she hailed from Nashville. My favorite Locke performance, though, was this version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".

When season three of Idol came around, there was so much girl-power I could hardly stand it. Not only were the top four finishers all women (the only time one gender has dominated Idol in that manner), but this was also the same season that brought the world the lovely Jennifer Hudson.

While it is still beyond me why Hudson finished 7th amongst that competition, I can only be happy that it allowed her the freedom to do Dreamgirls. Finishing at the top that year was Fantasia Barrino. Her performance of Summertime, which is fairly widely regarded as the best performance on Idol, ever, still gives me goosebumps.

Also in the top four were Diana DeGarmo, Jasmine Trias, and LaToya London.

Season four was another good one for the ladies in the form of Carrie Underwood. While "diva" is probably too strong of a word for her voice, her talent was apparent from her very first audition. The third place finisher that year (and one of my favorites!) was the often-forgotten Vonzell Solomon, seen below rocking out the Dreamgirls classic, "I Have Nothing".

You gotta give that girl some credit.

Season five of American Idol was probably one of my favorite seasons thus far. Katherine McPhee is not only gorgeous, but also super fun and girl could sing. It also brought us the adorable Paris Bennett and Mandisa. Mandisa is probably the queen of Idol divas in my book. She had me at "Fallen".

(This is probably the only time I would ever say this: I wish I was Paula so I could have beaten up Simon, too.)

Bringing us up to last season, one of the most memorable diva-battles took place. With winner Jordin Sparks coming out the ultimate diva, Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones both easily could hold claims to that title. This video shows Jordin just after being crowned the winner. Though the song, "This is My Now" completely sucks, Jordin sings it absolutely beautifully, even through tears.

Hard to believe she just turned eighteen.

After all those videos, I find it incredibly difficult to fully get behind any of the "divas" of the current season. Don't make the mistake of assuming that I don't like any of the female contestants. Brooke White, for one, seems to get better every week. Last night's performance of "Love is a Battlefield" has easily worked its way into my top five favorite Idol performances ever.

Brooke White - Love is a Battlefield
Uploaded by starmometerdotcom

But, no matter how good Brooke is, she is no "diva". Some would classify Asia'h Epperson and Syesha Mercado as this year's new crop of divas. Of course, they have beautiful voices, but I have yet to hear the power behind their vocals that these other women have had. I'm afraid I will miss that dynamic on this year's show.

Influenza

2008-03-03T11:16:00.002-05:00

So, unfortunately, an untimely diagnosis of the influenza virus has sidelined my blogging for a few days. Please don't cry. I will return.

In the mean time, here are a few links to things that have kept my sick-as-a-dog self entertained recently. I hope they do for you as well.

"That's Not in My Contract!"

Ellen Page's BRILLIANT SNL skit

Kate & Julie's New Big Gay Vlog

LOLCatz

Enjoy, and hopefully I will be up and running soon! ;)

I Want a Royal Family!

2008-02-28T19:38:00.009-05:00

"Why do you sound so surprised? I love America. Just because I think gay dudes should be allowed to adopt kids and we should all drive hybrid cars, doesn't mean I don't love America." -Tina Fey's character, Liz Lemon, on 30 Rock

I love this quote, and not just because it came from Fey's mouth, either. (Though what a lovely mouth it is...) I feel like it is very applicable to me. Sometimes I feel a little guilty for raging on about America, the political process, and the government as much as I do. But then I think about it, and realize that all the reasons why I love living here are what allows me the freedom to express that distaste for so much of American society.

Having made all of that clear, it seems that the news today was flooded with stories intended to make me pine for a new nationality. If you've breathed today, you have already heard that Prince Harry, third in line for the British throne, has been serving active military duty in Afghanistan for the past ten weeks. After the prince publicly declared his desire to go last May, the British Ministry of Defense apparently sought the cooperation of all major British news outlets to blackout the story. It was (most likely accurately) suspected that news of his service would put him and his unit at a higher risk. The press fulfilled their part of the agreement--or at least, the British press did. Leave it to the Americans to mess it all up. While an Australian magazine, New Idea, apparently ran a story about the likelihood of his war zone service in early January, the news made little impression and faded out of the public's memory. The big news, which broke this afternoon, came from US-based website, The Drudge Report, most notorious for breaking the news about former President Clinton's Oval Office escapades in 1998. Matthew Drudge himself calls the story "the best kept editorial secret in recent times".

I, for one, am embarrassed at Drudge's seeming lack of regard for the safety of these British troops, lack of regard for journalistic integrity (which it appears he lost long ago), and all around enormous ego. Simultaneously, I can only applaud Prince Henry and the UK's royal family for their willingness to "walk the talk" in terms of loyalty and patriotism. The First Family of the U.S. would NEVER, EVER have a child serve active military duty while in office, especially not during war time. And, with all due respect to "First Children," the British royal family hold much more prestigious and globally renown positions. Kudos, Harry!!

Moving just across the English channel to the Netherlands, I now want to be Dutch. The Princess (and future Queen) of the Netherlands is going to be attending (and speaking at!) a gay rights conference hosted by the Dutch Gay Federation, COC. She intends to sign a letter of agreement to help fight for full acceptance of the LGBT community in the Netherlands.

While it is not shocker that the first member of a royal family to attend a gay rights conference of this magnitude hails from the Netherlands (they were the first country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage), it is still somewhat of a milestone. However, an increase in conservative Christian and Muslim immigrant citizens (whose communities largely reject the normalities of gender identity issues and same-sex relationships) in recent years has contributed to back steps in their progress. Anti-gay hate crimes have been steadily on the rise. The attendance of Princess Maxima might not directly change anything for Dutch gays and lesbians, but it does show a very real intent and dedication by the royal family to providing equality for all groups and communities.

Damnit, why can't we have royal families? They seem so much cooler than the "royalty" and government we have over here.

Oh well. At least we have things to look forward to over here!

Will Hoge Rocks Columbia

2008-02-27T15:51:00.009-05:00

Last night I was fortunate enough to see one of my favorite singers do his thing at Headliner's Columbia.

I've seen Will Hoge about half a dozen times before, but that didn't detract from my enjoyment in the slightest. One of my very best friends, Elliot, came with as well, and I think we both agree that the night as a whole was absolutely unreal.

I had been put on the guest list for the radio station hosting the event, so we both got in free and took full advantage of the fact that we had extra cash on hand to put towards the purchase of alcohol. This morning, when I had to wake up for work at 7, I wasn't so thankful.

Will's touring this time around with Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit and they're calling it The Rock & Roll Revival Tour. If that sounds familiar, it should. I had never heard Jason (or their other opener, Dawn Landes) before last night, but I was HIGHLY impressed with both! Jason and Will have very similar sounds, so regardless of which one people came to see, they were happy all night long.

Dawn definitely did not fit into the "southern rock" mold of the two headliners, but was quite good nonetheless. She had two other musicians on the stage with her and a smattering of off-the-wall instruments (a xylophone and a french horn!). I thought at the time that her sound reminded me of Feist, and then I read her biography on her myspace page and discovered that she has opened for her before; what a coinky-dink!

(That's her on the left in the nifty red jacket, and Jason Isbell is on the right with the mandolin.)

Anyways, at one point during the show Elliot and I bought a shot for Will. At first he made a crack about how he doesn't drink anymore (the lies!!), but when he came to the edge of the stage to take it he took ours for his drummer and keyboard player, too! It was quite the funny moment, and got us an "in" for a picture opportunity after the show!

That's Elliot on the left, then Sigurdur Birkis (drums), Adam Fluhrer (guitar) and myself.

All-in-all, it was a fantastic time had by all, but now it is time for me to nap.

Letter to Hillary

2008-02-25T10:12:00.002-05:00

Mrs. Clinton,

Today, I read the following quote that you issued in your February 23rd speech in New Orleans:

"But I believe our task is to go forward with the agenda that all of us agree upon. That is what I have done my entire life, on behalf of civil rights and women's rights and human rights."

Really? So, Hillary, when you supported the Defense of Marriage Act during your husband's term in 1996, you were moving forward and working on behalf of human rights? At the time, you were quoted as saying:
"Marriage has historic, religious, and moral content that goes back to the beginning of time, and I think a marriage is as a marriage has always been, between a man and a woman. But I also believe that people in committed gay marriages, as they believe them to be, should be given rights under the law that recognize and respect their relationship."
Oh, I get it. It's that whole separate-but-equal principle. Great idea, since it worked so well the first time.

And, you know, I wanted to forgive you for your DOMA gaffe in light of the fact that you openly disagreed with Bill regarding "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". But you shot yourself in the foot by proclaiming that it was an "important first step." Not only is it absurd to imply that Congress has never made a rash decision regarding human rights before, but it is a blatant slap in the face of the LGBT community to suggest that DADT was a step-up from the Pentagon's previous policies. Prior to DADT, gays and lesbians were simply not allowed in the military. DADT changed that by "granting" the right to serve in the armed forces, as long as no one knows he/she is actually gay. Wait, what was the change again? Oh, yes. That's right. With this policy, they encouraged LGBT Americans to join the military (read: recruiting ploy) while forcing them to hide their true selves and dishonorably discharging service members discovered to be anything other than heterosexual. The Servivemembers Legal Defense Network estimates that two soldiers are fired everyday (totaling over 11,000 between 1994 and 2005) as a result of DADT. Two separate groups commissioned to study the financial impact of DADT estimated that between $190 million and $363 million has been spent on investigations, trials, paperwork and recruiting/training for service members to those discharged.
To recap, gays can serve in the military as long as they aren't identified as such (which is the same as before) and hundreds of millions of dollars (that we don't have!) are being implemented to LEGALLY DISCRIMINATE against thousands of Americans that are willing to sacrifice their life for their country.
Back to you, Hillary. Can you explain to me why this is such a great step (backwards)?
No, no I will not be persuaded by the same false promises you and Bill threw about in the 1992 and 1996 election cycles that only served to result in the miserable policies we have today.
Keep with "what you have done your entire life" and fight for (straight) human rights as you see fit. Keep your lousy letter. Keep your narrow view on what can be a loving marriage. Keep it all. And I'll make sure I keep my vote.

Bitterly,
Alicia

New Beginnings

2008-02-25T00:21:00.005-05:00

I have decided that the blogging world is one that I enjoy enough to expand my membership to new heights. Though I may be the only person who cares about my opinions, I have been feeling narcissistic enough lately to share them anyways. For the past two months, I have been occasionally blogging for AfterEllen.com under the user name "carolinagrrrl" and intend to continue doing so for as long as they will indulge me. A good portion of my posts here will most likely be duplicated on AE, but that's no reason to have to choose one blog or the other!

Because I hate writing about myself directly, I will use the "About Me" section from my myspace page as an introduction.

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My life, for the most part, is pretty simple. I am a 22 year old GRADUATE of the University of South Carolina. Right now, thanks to my generous parents, I have very few responsibilities, and I am hoping to savor this for as long as possible, though I know it won't last. I am currently in what I have affectionately called "Law School Limbo" where I must simply wait to hear which schools want me there this fall. It's quite odd having no idea what coast I'll be on in 6 months.

Though it took me too long to figure out the educational path I should take, I am ecstatic about law school; about the potential to start over. Don't get me wrong, I have grown to absolutely LOVE Columbia, and my friends here are my life. Yet, there is something so attractive about the ability to completely reinvent myself with new surroundings.

As I said, I love my friends. Along with my family, they are what drive me day in and day out. Without them, I would be completely lost. I like to have fun, ALL THE TIME, and many of my friends would probably agree that they can't keep up with me. College football, especially GAMECOCK football, is a passion of mine. For that reason, the Fall and Winter are my favorite season. On any given weekend, you can find me bar-hopping in 5 Points or the Vista with my best friends in the world.

My life is right where I want it to be. No complaints.